Emily turned 8 months old yesterday...to say that time has flown by would be a serious understatement.
It's all so bittersweet. Part of me is so excited to see her grow and learn new things (who knew watching someone discover "nose" would be so incredible?). But there is another part of me that feels like I can't keep up with it all. I'm so worried I'll miss something or forget something I love that she does.
For example, when she was first born right before she'd poop (I know, I'm sorry, stick with me on this) her little forehead would wrinkle up, her eyes would go wide, and her little mouth would form an "O". It was the cutest thing in the world to me at the time. But then she stopped one day. I don't know when, I don't know the last date I saw her do it, all I know is that I miss seeing that face...and those little forehead wrinkles.
There's so many things that were new that now Emily just"used to do" in a short 8 months, it's insane.
One night about a week ago, she was really fussing in the middle of the night. We utilized the cry it out method earlier this month so for her to be consistently crying meant that she truly needed Dave and I. So I went into her room and changed her diaper, she was wide awake and I decided to hold her to help her fall back asleep. She fell asleep within a few minutes and I watched her sleep for a bit, thinking who knows when I'll be able to do that again. While she slept she smiled a little smile, much like the ones she used to do when she was a newborn. Then she giggled a soft little giggle. It was the purest, sweetest sound I've ever heard in my life. I put her down shortly after that, and went back to bed.
As I began to fall asleep I said a silent little prayer: "Lord, please don't ever let me forget the sound of that giggle and the look of that smile". I really hope I never do.
When I was younger (like early twenties, instead of early thirties--yipes!) I used to wear heels all day, every day. I swore they were comfortable (I was young, stupid, and didn't know any better), and I loved how my legs and ass looked in heels, especially with longer pants (still do!).
But then one day I wore a pair of flats and at the end of the day my feet weren't aching and I realized maybe the pain wasn't worth the beauty? I dressed for myself and no one else, there wasn't/isn't anyone in my office I dress for so why would I make myself uncomfortable for the sake of a cute butt I couldn't personally see anyway. So I stopped wearing heels and starting wearing flats.
This means my closet is full of beautiful heels that never see the light of day anymore. It just isn't fair to them. So yesterday I decided to bring out a pair of heels to wear, yes they looked nice, yes my butt looked good, but you know what didn't look good? My mood at the end of the day. You see a typical "short" 8 hour day for me turned into a very long 13 hour day. In heels. Which I'm not used to wearing.
As my aching feet settled into bed last night I thought to myself, this, my friend, is why you don't wear heels anymore. Which means my beautiful pumps won't see the light of day for a long time again. Currently, I'm okay with that, but ask me again in 6 months and I might have forgotten about this little episode.
oh, and hi, I'm back. At least for this post. Because sometimes you can't shut the nagging voice in your head that says HEY PLEASE WRITE SOMETHING.