Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Bully

Bullying isn't some new concept, I'm pretty sure we've all seen or experienced bullying at some point in our lives. When I was in middle school I was the target of some bullying. I always dreamed that one day I'd blossom into this supermodel-esque woman and show those bullies up or, more practically, I'd confront them one day and they'd get their comeuppance. I did run into my bully about three years ago but it didn't turn out how I'd hoped it would. 


In middle school, I sprouted up like a beanstalk. The problem was that I was ridiculously skinny too (oh to have that metabolism again!), which meant finding jeans posed a major issue. I could either find jeans that fit my scrawny waist but were too short or I could wear long jeans that didn't fit my waist. I (or I should say my mom) opted for the waist fitting jeans. One day while wearing my new jeans, I started to hear kids say "is there a flood warning for today" or things along those lines. I didn't understand what they meant at first but I did notice everyone was laughing except me. 

Once I realized they were talking about me, they ramped up their teases. They'd walk past me and call me "Flood" or roll up their pants when they walked into the classroom and say they were prepping for the flash flood. One time one of the boys who sat in front of me turned around with a ruler and measured how much space was between where my jeans ended and my shoe began. While reading "White Fang" by Jack London, London was describing a setting where the full moon "flooded" the open land with light. The worst offender of the bunch pretended that he didn't hear the phrase and asked the teacher to repeat it, which had the whole class erupting in laughter. It was terrible. It could have been worse, but to be made fun of so badly and have no one to support you was a really horrible experience to have. 

Fast forward nearly 15 years later, I ran into the worst offender who was doing electrical work in my office. We recognized each other and stopped to chat. Somehow it came up how badly he made fun of me in middle school and I realized this was my moment! He would apologize and I'd be vindicated. Except all he said was "heh heh, yeah you really were a big nerd back then" and any hopes of me doling out justice for being bullied went out the window. I don't think he'll ever realize just how mean he was or how tough it was going to school for me during that time, and quite frankly it sucks, but what can you do about it? So I just responded with, "heh heh, yeah and you were an asshole back then, hopefully not anymore!" and left it at that. 

I might not have been the apology I was hoping to get but it was good enough for me. Were you bullied in school? Did you ever run into your bully afterwards? 


12 comments:

  1. That sounds so awful. I'm sorry the kids were so mean to you. And while you didn't get your apology, you did get a few words in and got to call him an asshole. I'd count it as a win. Hope that gave you some closure.

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    1. It was nice to be able to tell him how terrible it was, even if he doesn't understand, I still got to say it, so yeah I did get closure :)

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  2. The encounters I've had with my past bullies were kind of great for me. The two that were the worst both had kids when they were 17ish, didn't go to college, and all in all were in kind of sad situations. So i guess it wasn't great because I felt bad for them but it was kind of like well at least I made it out, shook their hands, and moved on.

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  3. And today we (well, I) wear floods on purpose. LOL. I'm sorry your later in life encounter didn't go how you wished it did.

    Even when I was little, I never really gave a good crap what anyone said to me as long as they said it to my face. Thus, when attempts were made to bully me, they were unsuccessful. I simply did not care and that was not fun for the bullies.

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  4. I'm sorry you went through that. It's so hard being a kid. I think we sometimes forget that when we become adults. I know I do.

    I was bullied too. I haven't spoken to the leader of the pack, but our paths crossed at our 10 year high school reunion. We both steered clear of each other. I like to think he avoided me out of guilt.

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  5. A girl from my high school and I have reconnected. She experienced some pretty terrible and hurtful things back then. They are still a part of who she is today. The taunts, the words...she still hears them, and it breaks my heart. I am glad schools are becoming more and more aware of the damage these kinds of verbal assaults can cause.

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  6. I was bullied pretty bad... my scars, I was scrawny, I wore glasses, couldnt play sports, I was in gifted classes, we had no money for cool clothes, I had buck teeth, then I got braces. I mean, nothing horrible, normal kid/adolescent stuff, but it didn't make it hurt any less. I remember one of my best friends from elementary school dropped me in middle school bc I was deemed a nerd, and she got in with the bad crowd and became the one who taunted me the most. She never graduated high school, got knocked up when we were 17 by a guy who has been in prison since before she had the kid, and then she got a real bad heroin addiction. I hate to admit it, but at the time I laughed when I heard about it all. My mom ran into her (she's since cleaned up her act) a few years ago, and called to tell me "how good Kristin is doing!" and when I said I didn't care, my mom yelled at me. But I just didn't care, ya know? I wish her no ill will and it's wonderful she got her life on track, but I realized it didn't affect my life either way, so why waste time thinking/talking about it? LOL, maybe my attitude means I'm still bitter? Who knows.

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  7. Thats terrible that even now he is an asshole. Ugh. Bullying sickens me. I never got the brunt of it but I went to an all girls school so it was all around!

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  8. haha once an ass, always an ass. You rule for that response!

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  9. I'm sorry you had to experience that!! How upsetting that you didn't even get an apology when he saw you AND he didn't even know he did anything wrong back then. On the bright side, I bet he doesn't have very many friends treating people like that and you rocked the response!

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  10. Sigh, kids can be so mean! I don't actually remember being bullied in school. I remember some girls would talk shit about me but that's because they wanted to date my boyfriend, lol I do remember other people making fun of others and me telling them that they (the bullies) were a bunch of morons.

    It's disappointing that this boy didn't actually apologize to you... what a sad loser.

    Jessica
    the.pyreflies.org

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    1. girls can definitely be mean too! it's crazy how silly we all can be growing up, sadly some of us never do.

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