Monday, October 6, 2014

Things That Go Bump in the Night

Apparently Dave and I can't keep our hands off each other in bed.

No, I don't mean like that. This isn't that kind of blog. What I mean is that we seem to always inevitably beat each other up in the middle of the night. 

It all started a few years ago, while I was having a nightmare about spiders. Ugh, it makes me shudder to think about spiders crawling all over me. Anyway, in the middle of this terrific nightmare, Dave is having a dream of his own (the running story with him is that he was dreaming about hammering). He ended up tapping on my shoulder, kinda like a bunch of little spiders running around all over me. I promptly woke up, screamed, and smacked Dave in the arm, which woke him up with a big 'ol "what the hell!?!"


The next "infraction" occurred a few months later. I'm a mover when I sleep. I never wake up, but I'm always aware of when I move around. One night I went to roll over on my stomach and just as I was about to settle back into my pillow, Dave rolled over and punched me right in my chin and snapping my head back. I promptly punched him in the jaw. Which resulted in another "what the hell!?!"

I always picked on Dave for "beating me up" in our sleep. Then, one night last week the tables finally turned, and I lost my ability to hoard that over his head. 

Another thing I'm able to sleep through for the most part is Dave snoring. He doesn't do it often, and when I do wake up from it, I'll just softly touch his arm and he stops. That night I was dreaming about something and my dreams turned to Dave snoring. So, still half asleep, I reach out to brush his arm. What I didn't realize was that I was laying a bit higher than normal, so what I thought was his arm turned out to be his mouth. 

Mid snore, I shoved my fingers right into Dave's mouth. 

It wasn't intentional, I swear it. Dave woke up sputtering and the only thing I could think of to do was say, "oops sorry" and roll over. As I started to fall back asleep, I knew I just lost my right to guilt trip Dave about his sleeping habits.

Please tell me Dave and I aren't the only ones who beat up on each other in our sleep? 


  1. I don't know why, but thinking of you shoving your fingers in his mouth is cracking me the hell up. When Steve and I were dating and started having sleepovers, I was at his house one night after having a root canal. In a dream, he punched me in the face exactly where the root canal was done (the pain!) and I woke up freaking out and screaming and I punched him back.

  2. hahahah

    I think it's HARD to sleep with someone else. Last night MFD slept on the couch and it was awesome. Freedommmm.

  3. J ends up elbowing me in the head all the time. I think he sleeps with his arm over his head and then rolls over jabbing me. I hope it is unintentional at least!

  4. This made me laugh so hard! We haven't had any issues with this yet, but I'm sure it's inevitable.

  5. I have to say that this made me laugh out loud!!!! I know that I have kicked Chris in my sleep but I think that's about it ha!

  6. Oh my gosh this sounds exactly like my husband and I when we were first married!!! Hahah!!


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