No, I don't mean like that. This isn't that kind of blog. What I mean is that we seem to always inevitably beat each other up in the middle of the night.
It all started a few years ago, while I was having a nightmare about spiders. Ugh, it makes me shudder to think about spiders crawling all over me. Anyway, in the middle of this terrific nightmare, Dave is having a dream of his own (the running story with him is that he was dreaming about hammering). He ended up tapping on my shoulder, kinda like a bunch of little spiders running around all over me. I promptly woke up, screamed, and smacked Dave in the arm, which woke him up with a big 'ol "what the hell!?!"
The next "infraction" occurred a few months later. I'm a mover when I sleep. I never wake up, but I'm always aware of when I move around. One night I went to roll over on my stomach and just as I was about to settle back into my pillow, Dave rolled over and punched me right in my chin and snapping my head back. I promptly punched him in the jaw. Which resulted in another "what the hell!?!"
I always picked on Dave for "beating me up" in our sleep. Then, one night last week the tables finally turned, and I lost my ability to hoard that over his head.
Another thing I'm able to sleep through for the most part is Dave snoring. He doesn't do it often, and when I do wake up from it, I'll just softly touch his arm and he stops. That night I was dreaming about something and my dreams turned to Dave snoring. So, still half asleep, I reach out to brush his arm. What I didn't realize was that I was laying a bit higher than normal, so what I thought was his arm turned out to be his mouth.
Mid snore, I shoved my fingers right into Dave's mouth.
It wasn't intentional, I swear it. Dave woke up sputtering and the only thing I could think of to do was say, "oops sorry" and roll over. As I started to fall back asleep, I knew I just lost my right to guilt trip Dave about his sleeping habits.