Monday, September 22, 2014

I'll Never Leave Your Pizza Burning

Warning! If you love songs just the way they are, I would suggest not reading this post (but please come back tomorrow!), otherwise, hope you like hearing these songs differently for the rest of your life. 

Dave has this thing where he "rewrites" songs and, quite frankly, ruins them for me. Certain songs have a moratorium on them where he cannot, under any circumstances, sing any other words other than the proper words to the song. This includes songs from our wedding. 

Today, I figured I would share some of the "classics" that we frequently sing in our house. In typical guy fashion, I have to warn you that most of these songs are changed to include bodily functions. Because fart jokes still make Dave laugh until he cries...every time. 

Beast of Burden- Rolling Stones

How the lyrics really go: I'll never be your beast of burden

What Dave sings: I'll never leave your pizza burning

I actually love Dave's version of this song, because he sings it to me and I'm pretty sure he genuinely means it. And he never has burned my pizza. 

You are a Tourist- Death Cab for Cutie

How the lyrics really go: When there's a burning in your heart

What Dave sings: Well, there's a burning when you fart

In the words of Forrest Gump, that's all I have to say about that. 

Always be my Baby- Mariah Carey

Okay so this one is a bit different. Dave decided one day that Mariah was singing to a fart. I took the time to listen to the lyrics and if you look at it from that perspective, it is possible she's singing to some gas:

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
'Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die, no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on and on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

Machinehead- Bush

How the lyrics really go: Got a machinehead

What Dave sings: Got a mushy- head

Seriously, I swear Gavin Rossdale is singing mushy head over and over again in this song. 

Don't Stand so Close to Me- The Police

How the lyrics really go: Don't stand so close to me

What Dave sings: Don't stand so close to pee

Wise words from someone who laughs uncontrollably at fart jokes. 

What are some songs that you hear the lyrics differently?