Friday, July 19, 2013

End of the Week Roundup- Gratitude

This week has been a rough one for me. My Grandma Maxine passed away last weekend and I've been walking around in a bit of a haze since. 

Quite frankly, there isn't anything I've done this week that would stand out enough to think about over my current thoughts so I decided to do a round up of the things that helped me survive this week. Things that I'm grateful for, because without them, this week would have been even more unbearable.

1. Memories.

During the really tough moments, I had memories to turn to. Like the time I stayed at her house for a week while my parents went on vacation and Grandma Maxine heard I loved strawberries, so she made it a point to have a bowl of fresh, sliced strawberries at breakfast every morning. Or the time she gave me a beautiful necklace for my birthday, made of a diamond from her own mother who had recently passed at the time. The sound of her voice, her facial expressions, all these brought me comfort and solace during my darkest moments. 

2. Nibbler and Squishee

I'm sure these guys sensed my sadness. Monday morning, which was the roughest for me, they refused to leave my side. I laid in bed, miserable, wishing there was a place I could just disappear into, here they were with their soft purrs and deep cuddles. I spent a good twenty minutes burrowed into Nibbler's fur, comforted by his loud purrs which cut through the silence of the house, relaxed by his soft fur, followed by Squishee's weight on my stomach, pressing down, as if to say "you're here, your grounded on Earth, I'm here, we are okay". 

3. New books

One of the things that always boosts me during a rough time is getting lost in a library or bookstore. Dave took me to Barnes and Noble one night and just let me wander. He stood back and let me explore. I ended up bringing home Neil Gaiman's The Ocean at the End of the Lane. I haven't really delved into the book yet, but it came highly recommended by my friend Sherrie. There is a quiet comfort being surrounded by bookshelves that tower over your head, walking down a section where its just you, taking in the new book smell. 

4. Dave

Dave is not an overly outward emotional person. Normally, his comforting consists of a pat on the back followed by "there, there". It's not that  he doesn't care he's just not good at that stuff. But this week? Dave was on point. He knew when to provide easy silence, when to crack a silly joke, when to hold me, when to leave me alone. I felt defeated at so many points this week, and Dave was right there to pick me back up and put me in fighting form again. I'm always grateful for the incredible man I married and the amazing marriage we have, it's something I feel lucky for everyday, but this week it put my appreciate for my husband and our marriage on a completely different level.

5. Family

Crying it out with my mom. Cracking jokes with my aunt and uncle at dinner. Catching up with family that I haven't seen in too long. Meeting a little boy who managed to say in two words, what should have been said five years ago. Hearing "Pickle!" being yelled out (my childhood nickname), a name I haven't been called consistently for quite some time, bringing me back to a time when my biggest worry was when I could get away from everyone to stick my head in a new book. 

Families are complex. Thank God for that.  

That's it for this week. I'd apologize for the somber-ness of this post, but honestly, it was therapeutic. I'll be back on my game next week, I promise.  

Linking up with Lauren.